“Our Souls crave for deep, genuine connection but nothing else”.
If you have a mental health problem, you may feel ashamed of ‘admitting’ to it. But being vulnerable with our people is not that bad and if we feel bad for being vulnerable with the people around. Just get to know they are not our people. As simple as that!!
Firstly we have to stop spending more time alone and being lazy to get to know people., ending friendships and relationships over the slightest disagreements and without genuine effort to fix the things or isolating ourselves because we fear getting hurt again with past experiences.
We may tend to feel what if ? We are bothering or upsetting our friend, fear being labeled, or worry about how our friendship might change after all these things and issues I bring up. Don’t think in such ways because our people expect to be vulnerable, not guarded and being a third person who only shares their happy moments.
Small Steps Make BIG Changes!
Think about who you might feel comfortable talking to and what we can share and what is not to be shared. Also certainly don’t have to tell everyone about your problem if we are not feeling comfortable.
Sharing our thoughts and being vulnerable is scary and tough as it can be. Even if you don’t talk about it again, having the issue out in the open means that you don’t have to worry about mentioning your mental health problem by accident or ‘explaining away’ and medication etc.
It may also clarify why you’re behaving in a particular way or don’t want to go out or talk to them much. We may want to practice your opening sentence or we may want to play it by ear. Choose a time and a place where you will both feel comfortable. Try to choose a place where you both can spend time together alone and understand the place is playing a vital role in communication.
If we are not good at face to face communication , You could phone or write to your friend if it’s easier than talking to them face to face. But, in person communication is way better than others.
Mindful with our reaction over emotion!
Understanding mental health problems can be difficult, despite how common they are. When you're sharing problems, always choose a person who can be mindful with their thoughts and be empathy to our feelings without giving the general and common solution.
Be ready for your friend to be shocked or react badly. They may feel awkward and not know how to respond. This may be because they feel so worried about you, or perhaps your news has struck a chord with something in their own life. They may even suggest that you’re fine and just need to ‘pull yourself together'. Give them time to process what you’ve said.
What can we do, if our friends share their thoughts!?
Firstly we have to listen and try to understand their view and what way they’re going through. The most valuable support you can provide is just being there to talk and listen. Making time to call, text, visit or invite them to spend time together.
If you have the solution, first ask them “I have some things to share with you , Can I say that” and then you can share. And don’t get offended or be sad when they are taking the thoughts. Because they are processing their own thoughts. And it’s difficult to understand your advice or solution in that situation.
Set clear boundaries to the support you can give. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re rejecting someone: it just means you’re being realistic about what you can and can’t do.
You can also seek help from your people but Talk about how you’re feeling and Be careful how much you share about the friend you’re supporting, but talking about your feelings can help you feel supported too.
Final Thoughts!
JUST THINK . We people need each other now more than ever, but how do we find the right people to get intimate with? How do we build trust and relationships when we’re afraid to be vulnerable and often give up after a disagreement? Find Your People challenges believers to let go of fear of past hurt.
